Whatever.....

http://www.expressbuzz.com/edition/story.aspx?Title=No+Part-timing+This&artid=qQsJ6B2YUoU=

My best friend

Also happens to be my husband

Book Review

Here's an old assignment from IIM that I just refound somewhere on my comp. It's a real interesting book.

Book Review

Narcissus and Goldmund

Herman Hesse

“We thinkers try to come closer to God by pulling the mask of the world away from His face. You (artists) come closer to Him by loving His creations and re-creating it. Both are human endeavours and necessarily imperfect, but art is more innocent”. A magnificent idea is developed and explored in this classic novel by Herman Hesse. The author, through the contrasting characters of his two protagonists, propounds his philosophy that there are two ways of reaching the goal of realization. One is the path of the philosopher, who discovers the truth by cutting himself off from the world, and realizing through intellectual reasoning. The other is the path of the artist, who lives and breathes the world, and his experiences with joy, love, sorrow and suffering teach him the truth, albeit in a completely different way. This is the essence of this endearing and thought-provoking novel.

It is important to realize that the two protagonists of the novel are not so much ‘real people’ as they are abstract characterizations of two ‘kinds’ of people.

Narcissus is an ascetic monk, a rigorous intellectual, who remains in the monastery to become an abbot; the epitome of the masculine, analytical mind. Narcissus is a man in complete control of his emotions, not given to bursts of anger or anguish easily. He is looked upon as arrogant and supercilious. And yet, he has many admirers, who respect him for his command over Greek, his charming persona and his intellectual capabilities. Abbot Daniel, the head of the monastery remarks that Narcissus had “admirers, but no friends”. Narcissus also has a gift for understanding people- what motivates them, their character and their destiny, and studying people is an intense fascination for him. This inquisitiveness is also probably what fuels the curious friendship that springs up between the two seemingly opposite people.

Goldmund is diametrically opposed to Narcissus. He is a romantic, dreamy, flaxen-haired boy, with the soul of a child. He is lyrical, searches for beauty in everything, is enraptured by women and lives every experience with an intensity that often leaves him drained. He leaves the monastery in order to experience the world and find his true nature. According to Hesse, he epitomizes the feminine side of the mind. Goldmund is blessed with a quick intelligence, but is not intrigued by the problems of logic or mathematics. He had a heightened sensitivity to his environment, and lived through imagery and imagination. The author says that for Goldmund, “a Latin initial changed to his mother’s perfumed face; a long note in the Ave became the gate to Paradise”.

Narcissus and Goldmund share a unique relationship throughout the book. The relationship initially begins as a teacher-student (probably indicative of how the intellectual always seems to hold a superior position as compared to an artiste). Goldmund looks up to Narcissus and admires his many fine qualities. In fact the relationship is based on mutual admiration and wonder. Each knows that he can never be like the other, and probably, each finally realizes that the other’s way is equally right as his own. As the years progress, Goldmund comes into his own, and during their second tryst, they become more of equals. Towards the end, one feels that Narcissus even starts to acknowledge the superiority of Goldmund’s way, and that is why he brings him back to his monastery. There is a subtle power struggle between these two opposing schools of thought that runs throughout the book, and again this is probably Hesse’s way of trying to personify his two points of view.

The idea is superb, no doubt, but Hesse is more a philosopher than an artiste. He uses language plainly and simply to elucidate his idea, but not as a powerful creative tool. The narrative is quite dry in parts and misses the pretty turns of phrase that would mark the works of his contemporaries such as Hemmingway, Faulkner or Fitzgerald. Undoubtedly, some of the finesse is lost in translation from its original German, but the fact remains that Hesse will be remembered not so much for his literary stylistics, but for his sheer wealth of ideas, and his capability to articulate them with conviction.

Finally, one begins to feel that it is neither Narcissus, nor Goldmund who make the book beautiful, but rather their relationship. Similarly, in life too, intellectualism and creativity are most beautiful when they complement each other. What is the point of understanding the geometry of a snowflake without appreciating the beauty of its form? It is similarly meaningless to ponder the stars without knowing what they are. Great are those who can see both the mind and the soul in everything around them, and their journey will be all the richer for it.

Interview et al

6bridges.com is an internet global community of Indian professionals from IIMs, IITs, Harvard, Yale, XLRI, NITs etc. They have an interesting website.

They did an interview with me recently. Here's the link.

http://www.6bridges.com/Content.asp?chk=1&DataID=2282&ShowAll=1

BTW Music Chit Chat 2 was a bit sad - there were 10 people that showed up - including me and my uncle and aunt who live next door to the venue :) Guess the pouring rain and no publicity did not help matters....But Chandana did a great job talking about singing to win in competitions, and I spoke about practice techniques.

But I shall not lose heart. At least not yet :)

Profoundly sad

I'm profoundly sad at the amazing levels of achievement all around me. It's very inspiring on one hand, and on the other I feel like an impostor- someone who doesn't deserve.

Now's the time to convert those feelings of inadequacy into a fire to be worthy. As someone I know says - "if not now, when?"

Music Chit Chat review

Review from today's Indian Express (Expresso section) by Jyothi Raghuram:

http://www.expressbuzz.com/edition/story.aspx?Title=Tradition+and+technology+come+together&artid=YWpZy3sPO|w=&SectionID=Qz/kHVp9tEs=&MainSectionID=wIcBMLGbUJI=&SectionName=UOaHCPTTmuP3XGzZRCAUTQ==&SEO=

Music Chit Chat 1

Yesterday was the first in what I hope will be a series of Seminars entitled Music Chit Chat.

Basically my idea is that young aspirants should not have to reinvent the wheel every time. In my musical journey, I have made some mistakes and I have done some good things, and eitherways I think younger artists can benefit from my (and others') experience.

The topic chosen was "Managing my Music Career - steps to becoming a successful concert musician". Had not really done much publicity, except for putting the announcement in Abhivyakti, and a few pamphlets.

So I was pleasantly surprised to see an audience of about 75 people- mainly youngsters, for a change!

The session went on for about an hour and a half, and we covered a variety of topics. There were some interesting questions in the end. But almost everyone came up to me and said they found the session very useful, which makes me feel that I want to continue this...It is very fulfilling to help others, and if my journey can serve to inspire and educate another person, so be it!

Am trying to upload a soft copy of the presentation for those who could not make it. Still need to figure out how....???

Next session is on Nov. 18th (Wednesday) at Ananya, Malleswaram. Topic will be "how to use my practice time effectively", and maybe one other subject.

TED Fellowship

I've been selected for a TEDIndia fellowship. Along with about 100 other Fellows, I get to attend the TEDIndia conference that is being held in Mysore from Nov 3rd - 8th. The conferences feature talks by thinkers and innovators, and are supposed to be extremely stimulating.

Sify is profiling all the Fellows. Check out my profile:

http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?a=jkpq8khaiac&title=Despite_all_the_chaos_India_is_home_Manasi_Prasad

Concert review

Here's a review of my concert in the Hindu at Chandra Layout last Sunday!

http://www.hindu.com/fr/2009/10/09/stories/2009100950800300.htm

Bismillah Khan Yuva Puraskar

Here's a photo of the ceremony!

And review of my concert:

http://www.hindu.com/fr/2009/09/18/stories/2009091850310200.htm

More later.

My battle with addiction

I have always believed that art becomes truly great when somewhere you can connect to it. When it stops being someone else's story and becomes your own. Which is why I would rather sing about human emotions than on the various attributes of one of the Navagrahas (of course Dixitar krithis are absolutely wonderful- dont get me wrong).

The Mahabharata is one such great piece of art where each one of us can find something to identify with. Recently, I worked with a dancer - Chitra Chandrashekar- in presenting the story of Kunti, at a dance festival in Chennai.

The character of Kunti itself is very powerful, with layers and layers beneath the surface. But, by and large, it is the story of a mother, of sacrifice, of being a pawn in the hands of fate. Nothing much there for me to really relate to....

However, in the very end, after the Kurukshetra war, right there on the battlefield, Kunti decides to renounce all material ties - her family, her beloved sons- and live in the forest for the rest of her days. The text was ' Sneha Paasham imam Chhindhi' (rid me of bonds of attachment). Chitra depicted this in a beautiful way - she removed her dancing anklets (bells) on stage and walked off.

I didnt think much of it at the moment, but a few days ago, the memory of this scene came back, and I felt a stirring deep inside. I suddenly realised that for most artists, their art is an addiction, just like drugs, alchohol or smoking. I am into music because I am addicted to the thrill of performing, of applause, of hearing my voice. Till then, I had always been of the opinion that my choice of staying with music and 'not giving in to corporate greed', was a sacrifice. Suddenly I realised it wasn't- in fact, the opposite. For me to be able to say 'Hah! I really dont care about singing' would be the biggest sacrifice. At that moment, I would be in control of the music, rather than music controlling me.

But can I? That calls for a lot of courage. To imagine a life where being a musician does not define me....that's scary! So the next morning, I re read the section in my website called 'My story', where I talk of choices. But maybe it was not a choice I made after all....maybe it was just my inability to break free of the addiction.

Do they have rehab for artists, anybody?

Tirtha Yatra

Looks like my new production may finally have a home! It has been more than a year since I did something new. The last was 'Olave Jeevana Saakshaatkaara', which was a huge success, but since then has not had many shows.....probably because of the radical theme?

This time, I have decided to go more 'mainstream' as it were. 'Tirtha Yatra' will be in my usual sing-walk-talk style, and will be a journey through the different pilgrimage centres in India and the devotional music associated with each. Still need to do lots of research and make sure each form sounds authentic. Each time I do a new production, be it Mira or OJS, it has been like giving birth to a child (how would I know?) - exhausting, emotional, exhilrating and draining. This one will be no different.

And the journey begins!

Rejection

Rejection means humiliation. Especially when it is public. Embarassment is an intense feeling, where you feel you just want to disappear to a place where no one knows you.
And these feelings will be your constant companions if you are in the art / entertainment field. The worst part is that almost all the time, you will come to know of your rejection from a third party- either the one who replaced you, or an innocent bystander. Those who reject you seldom have the guts to say to your face “Sorry, we picked someone else”.

You will go for recordings to other ends of town at weird hours, sing two lines, and be told, “Recording is postponed as studio is booked now, we will let you know the next available date.” Now don’t be naïve and keep practicing the song hoping they will call you- they won’t. Silence also means rejection. When people don’t call you, or pick your calls- they are not busy, they are just avoiding having to tell you the truth. And when that happens, don’t ask “Why? What did I do wrong?” There is seldom an answer.

One way to handle it is to be thick-skinned and say “Hey, they are the big losers. I was a great catch, and they lost me”. The other way is the revenge reaction “Just you wait- one day I’ll be famous and successful, and you will come crawling to my door, and I won’t give you the time of day. Hah!” The other, painful way, is to look inward and admit you weren’t good enough.

But hey, atleast you tried- if you don’t even try, there’s no risk of rejection, but no chance at glory….